Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I know, I'm even lazy at being myself.

I started this blog many years ago as a personal journal while I was in therapy for depression, self-esteem issues, and anger. Over the years it evolved into a rant board for myself of all the things and people that annoy me. And occasionally, I would post something uplifting or funny.

What I wanted it to become was a place that I could discover where I was going, and how I wanted to direct my future. A place that I could be me, without getting the sideways glances I get from people in person. Somewhere my friends and family would be able to go and find out what was really going on with me. Some place special.

I haven't done that. I have designed it properly. I haven't posted the real truth. I have spent milliseconds composing posts that aren't even worth reading. I rush through them just to get them posted, but don't put any real thought into them. No one knows who I really am by reading this blog, if anyone ever reads the blog. I read it, and I can't get an idea of myself from my own writing.

I will dedicate my time. I will dedicate my mind. I will dedicate myself to something: me.

Put your seat belt on darling. I'm ready to go! Now, we just need some gas in the tank.....

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