Assuming I'm a stand up comic...

This is not a business you get into to be rich. I'm here because I love this job, and you couldn't get by without the laughter I create.  :)

It's lonely though, because my husband has to stay back home and work. He doesn't do it because he has an awesome job, no no. He does it because someone has to pay the damn AT&T bill. That is one crazy expensive bill. And we don't even have an iPhone! Just lame old-school phones, with no internet. But you have to have them. And wasn't it always the cool thing to be "in"? Remember the Cingular ads? "you in?" Yeah, well, we got in, now we can't get out. Because every 2 years we get an upgrade! And that is so exciting. You check your online account twice a week for your upgrade eligibility, like it matters. Then its time, you get the new phone, and in 2 months, you're counting down to upgrade time again. "If my phone can make it another 22 months, I can get a new one.... for free!!!" Ever stop to think about why it's free? But that's that.

I wish they had a procrastinatory disconnect service with cell phones. You know, you pay part of your bill, but not all of it and your service just starts to fuzz out over time until you pay it all. When I was a kid we had cable from this local company called Heartland. After you went past due on your account, they would begin "soft disconnect" where your cable would become increasingly more fuzzy. Eventually it would go out all together. We would usually wait about 10 days in, then we couldn't stand it anymore and mom and dad would have the money by then.

That's what AT&T should do. Actually, they kinda already have that; it's called their service! Man does it suck or what?! But what are you gonna do? Go to Verizon? Or US Cellular? Who uses US Cellular anymore? My grandma maybe.

By the way, I made up procrastinatory. The definition is: to do something in a way that exudes or displays procrastination or the idea of procrastination.


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