A very dark winter took me away from many of the things I loved, including blogging. As I mentioned in a past post, I went through a divorce in 2014. It wasn't a terrible divorce, or a lengthy, angry divorce. It was however a lengthy separation; 2+ years. When the final court date arrived, and the papers were signed, I felt a huge weight lifted off of me. I've taken some time since then to adjust to the thought of no longer bearing the label of 'wife' or 'partner' or 'companion'. I started that adjustment when the separation started in 2012, but it became real when the divorce was filed. Once it was final, the idea fit better, like pair of running shoes after a few miles. :) You just have to wear it a bit in order for it to become part of you. Although my identity is not defined by my relationship labels, it is something we wear, and therefore should take time to be comfortable with it.
I dated a bit during the end of the proceedings, which did not work out. I was pushing forward before God was ready for me. We do that sometimes, it's OK, it's a learning experience. I had to see what I didn't want in order to recognize what I do want. God has it set aside, just be patient my dear. (I kept hearing this in my heart. Oh, if only we'd listen all the time!) I'll do a post in the near future on dating again in your 30s. My how times have changed! I don't think I even had Facebook the last time I dated.
Now! Now it is spring, and my heart is light, the sky is bright, and my mind is open to a new plan.
Here is a quick run down of things on my agenda, and in my life. I hope you enjoy them as much as I am, and will!
March 20th-22nd: Camping (cabin-ing), fishing, fireplaces, rain storms, sunshine. I'm so ready for a few days away from everything, and getting to spend it with someone really awesome just thrills me.
March 28th: FireFly Run in Dallas. My first official race since taking 8+ months off for injury and personal reassessment. Held in the evening, this run is done with glow sticks and reflective gear and crazy lights! Running it with one of my favorite people, MLand, we are ready to be back in the game.
April 26th: Here it is! The BIG one. My first half-marathon. I'm behind on training, but my heart and head are ready. 100% run or not, I'll cross that finish line, best friends waiting. I already know my emotions will be running high. I can feel the goosebumps slinking across my skin as I think about it even now. 20 years making our state stronger, 20 years of stories and memories from all around, 20 years of learning to forgive. 13.1 miles below my feet. Countless hugs at the end. A smile that will be created and never taken away.
2015 is turning into a very good year. I know God is using every moment of my day to guide me into my future. I find my value in His love, and not in anything else. I am not measured by how many friends I have, how much money I make, or on which rung I stand on the social ladder. I am beautiful, I am valuable, I am loved. I am His beloved.
Keep running. Keep praying. Keep running. Keep praying. Keep running. Keep praying.
And never forget to laugh.