Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Getting well, and doing all the things (because it's Tuesday!)

No Burrito Zone!!! 3 of us (including yours truly) almost died (slight exaggeration) from something in the breakfast burritos we had Thursday at work. I won't go into detail, but imagine, if you will, the most painful and embarrassing things you can go through with other people watching...that happened. Emergency room visit in 2015, check!

Now that I'm back at it, let's see what has happened, and talk about things.

 Running is what you make it. If you're doing it, you're not doing it wrong. Unless you are doing it wrong. In that case, stop.

Here is a little bug I dug out of my mouth on my most recent run. MMMMMM.

When you can't eat real food, you can always have a shake, and watch someone else eat real food. That's just as fun, right? I couldn't eat yet, so guess where we went. Thanks.

The chocolate shake was dreamy though.

I'm now allowed to add soft foods and some harder to digest foods back in my diet. Last night's menu: spinach salad and loaded mashed potatoes! Getting those calories in.

Honey crisp. The only apple worth eating.

New fave snack. Gluten-free fruit cookies. They are expensive, high in calories, and I can eat the entire package in an afternoon. 

 A few outdoor adventures to expand the heart and calm the soul.

The woman came from a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.

I get a wonderful sense of peace when I feel safe. Very few people in my life have given me a sense of security. I'm in awe of those that allow me to be equal, yet sink into their protective shield.

Yesterday was Monday, did you remind us that you have a boyfriend, again?

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Khaki Thursday

It's Khaki Thursday everyone! We made it another week. Time to look back and reminisce, relax, and re-enjoy!

Run love!

Out where the crickets chirp.

Rinsed that rig off. Not a total Betty, but a vast improvement.

You never know where it might lead

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Does anyone know what dating is anymore?

Dating. Whoa! Stand back, keep your arms and legs inside at all times, don't hold your breath, and don't make eye contact!

This is the stuff science fiction movies are made of. Facebook, Tinder, Match, Zoosk, ...friends of friends. My head is spinning!

After my long, long separation, I decided to get back out and try to date. Here are my few, but eye opening experiences with dating.

Online dating: I have friends that did the online dating scene with some success, and much failure. I thought about it, but lying online about who you really are is just so easy. I need my sources! I need to know why you're single, from an outsiders perspective. I need to know how old that picture really is! I found that most (note this is not all-encompassing) men online were only interested in casual connections that don't require much clothing. No thanks.

Dating apps (Tinder): I had no interest in Tinder, that is too modern for me.

Fix-up: Friends of friends...oh, there's a good idea. The age-old attempt of 'fixing up' that ALWAYS fails. This one I tried. Why? I like feeling like a social outcast for having manners and standards. (insert blank stare here) Don't do this type of dating. You'll only get a big build up from the mutual friends, and then find out that person is completely different around their other friends. Ever wonder why you didn't meet this amazing person whilst hanging out with your mutual friends? Because they aren't that close of friends; and there is probably a good reason.

There are great matches to be made out there. You do have to put in effort though.  Be brave. Be confident. Be bold. Also, sharing quality friends with a quality guy can make a world of difference.  (I randomly PM'd a guy on facebook ok? His picture was really cute. This opportunity falls in to the 0.001% that he isn't a psycho or basement dweller. Results not typical)

I did spend a lot of time with God, talking about love, my future, my expectations, and His expectations. Guess what? His plan is way better than mine.  God sets limitations for us, for love and the falling in love experience, for good reason. He knows what He is doing. He created love. He IS love. I have my wishes, of course, and He listened. I'm not sure though if they were really my hearts desire, or the desires of my heart as set by Him. Either way, they're good, and they were met.

Take your time. Make sure you are happy with you, happy being on your own, and in a place where you don't feel you need someone. When you get there, wait some more. God has someone set aside for you, and He will deliver. While you get out there though, smile, laugh, meet new people, and have new adventures. Most importantly, stay true to you. Don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't worthy of pursuit. If they give up, they weren't worth it.

All that said, I'll end with this. Don't date just to date. Date with purpose. Love is amazing. Falling in love is truly a special adventure. Don't rush it. Enjoy each little step it takes to get from "Hello" to "I love you". If you fell in love before, and love failed, do not be bitter toward love. If you are getting a second chance at love, do not rush love. You can't make someone love you, and you can't make yourself love someone. Keep in mind that love is a choice, an action. You choose to love, and you show it in how you respect others and pay attention to their needs. Love is not kisses, and gifts, and facebook statuses. Love is a deep desire to see someone else's needs with greater importance than your own. You love them, because they are valuable.

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Running again, and doing all the things.

The clouds have parted, the sun is shining, and this curly girl is alive again.

A very dark winter took me away from many of the things I loved, including blogging. As I mentioned in a past post, I went through a divorce in 2014. It wasn't a terrible divorce, or a lengthy, angry divorce. It was however a lengthy separation; 2+ years. When the final court date arrived, and the papers were signed, I felt a huge weight lifted off of me. I've taken some time since then to adjust to the thought of no longer bearing the label of 'wife' or 'partner' or 'companion'. I started that adjustment when the separation started in 2012, but it became real when the divorce was filed. Once it was final, the idea fit better, like pair of running shoes after a few miles. :)  You just have to wear it a bit in order for it to become part of you. Although my identity is not defined by my relationship labels, it is something we wear, and therefore should take time to be comfortable with it.

 I dated a bit during the end of the proceedings, which did not work out. I was pushing forward before God was ready for me. We do that sometimes, it's OK, it's a learning experience. I had to see what I didn't want in order to recognize what I do want. God has it set aside, just be patient my dear. (I kept hearing this in my heart. Oh, if only we'd listen all the time!) I'll do a post in the near future on dating again in your 30s. My how times have changed! I don't think I even had Facebook the last time I dated.

Now! Now it is spring, and my heart is light, the sky is bright, and my mind is open to a new plan.

Here is a quick run down of things on my agenda, and in my life. I hope you enjoy them as much as I am, and will!

March 20th-22nd: Camping (cabin-ing), fishing, fireplaces, rain storms, sunshine. I'm so ready for a few days away from everything, and getting to spend it with someone really awesome just thrills me.

March 28th: FireFly Run in Dallas. My first official race since taking 8+ months off for injury and personal reassessment. Held in the evening, this run is done with glow sticks and reflective gear and crazy lights! Running it with one of my favorite people, MLand, we are ready to be back in the game.

April 26th: Here it is! The BIG one. My first half-marathon. I'm behind on training, but my heart and head are ready. 100% run or not, I'll cross that finish line, best friends waiting. I already know my emotions will be running high. I can feel the goosebumps slinking across my skin as I think about it even now. 20 years making our state stronger, 20 years of stories and memories from all around, 20 years of learning to forgive. 13.1 miles below my feet. Countless hugs at the end. A smile that will be created and never taken away.

2015 is turning into a very good year. I know God is using every moment of my day to guide me into my future. I find my value in His love, and not in anything else. I am not measured by how many friends I have, how much money I make, or on which rung I stand on the social ladder. I am beautiful, I am valuable, I am loved. I am His beloved.

Keep running. Keep praying. Keep running. Keep praying. Keep running. Keep praying.

And never forget to laugh.