Friday, December 30, 2016

Friday little bits

Happiness to everyone!

This is the last Friday of 2016. Are you happy to have this year end? Are you happy to have a new year start?

I'm not upset about this past year. Sure, 2016 brought me some bad days at work. I cried over a boy; well, he's not a boy, but that is how the cliche goes. I had disagreements with friends and family. I lost my grandmother.  I had many small bad things, and a few big, bad wolves.

2016 also brought me back to my love of running. I was accepted into YTT. I made some new friends. I FINALLY took a real vacation. I met the Wranglerstars. I cried over a boy (in good ways); again, not a boy, but you know.

We can spend time focusing on how "bad" this year was, but if we do that, we're just wasting the last bit of 2016 being lame. We could be making GREAT memories! End this year on a positive note!!!!

Quit feeding negativity. Get off of your soapbox and be amazing. Life is what you make it, right? So go make it something you want to live for.


I'm attending NYT's New Year's Eve 108 Sun Salutations. We will be ending 2016 with peace, and
setting a positive intention for 2017.

If you're ever in the McKinney, TX area, contact North Texas Yoga about a visit. 






What is your intention for the next trip around the sun??


Thursday, December 29, 2016

Khaki Thursday, yoga nidra, and deep little droplet thoughts

Hey.

It's Khaki Thursday ya'll! Man I love this day. I doesn't matter how tired I am (I woke up at 4am to a fake noise I 'heard'), how sore I am (running....), how grumpy I am (a few days each month, or a random day, or because #existence), I always have a little smile in there somewhere because it's TODAY!

4 AM: (my magical, amazing brain) What was that? Was that the back door? (slide out of bed, retrieve shotgun, pray the intruder doesn't hear the creaky wood floors and pinpoint your location). Sneak, sneak, sneak. How can I open the door without the handle making noise? Turning it to the right opens it easier, but louder. Turning it left eventually opens it quietly, but I may be in the back of a U-Haul by then... How much time did I just waste worrying about that? Crap.

OPENS DOOR! AIMS! ....nothing. Like usual. What the heck am I hearing every night that is waking me up? This is why I used to sleep with earplugs in. Yes, that is dangerous, but if you can't hear the danger, does it really exist?

5 AM: I tried meditating. It's on my list of rajasic/tamasic things to work on this month. After a few minutes I found myself slightly slumped on my meditation cushion, arms crossed, and judging the voice guiding me. Not my voice, I was using guided meditation this time. But you're correct to think I was judging myself, that happens aaaalllllll the time.

Do you know what my biggest issue was? I felt like I was missing parts of the guide's story when I would drift in and out. He used so many adjectives to describe my serene surroundings, I wasn't able to keep up when I let go. So I kept focusing on the story. Then, I missed things, and I was frustrated. Mediation and me, we have a long way to go.

5:30 AM: Eggs, tomatoes, baby arugula, avocado, Parmesan cheese. Mmmm.








I did get a sweet pic of my new jammies
6:30 AM: Ugh...I'm so tired!!!! I'd better wash my hair. (Don't give in to the lie that coconut oil works on curly hair, it doesn't) Enter yoga nidra (with wet hair). I had the same issue with this, I felt like I was missing something. I kept hearing the same part over and over, "...now, the right buttock". Why was that the only line I heard? I did relax some, but didn't sleep. Meh, I feel a little better. Yoga nidra and me, we have a long way to go.






DROPLETS

Reading Path of the Yoga Sutras has been a great mind opener. I find myself reminding myself of new perspectives during my day. Removing my attachment to success, truly giving without expectation of receiving, accepting outcomes as experience, making deposits into my karmic piggy bank.

If you give, out of love, and do not receive, did you truly give? Lately I've felt if I spend any time thinking about how I didn't get something back in return for what I gave, then I gave selfishly. If I can give, and move on, and only notice (read:appreciate) what I get when I get it, and not think about it when I don't, then I'm giving selflessly, out of pure love, and with abandon. Removing the expectation of 'fair return' allows me to give without pain. It also allows me to spend copious amounts of time trying to wrap my mind around my own mind. This is why meditation escapes me.

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It's run night again! Day 5 of official marathon training. Only 3 miles on the schedule for tonight. Zoom Zoom. Oh, and I ordered the Mizuno Wave Rider 20 yesterday. Scrumptious, I know.



What shoes do you wear? 
What hangups do you have, that you could let go of?
What's for lunch?

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Marathon training, cold-weather issues, and DOING ALL THE THINGS!!!!

Hey there travelers of the blog-sphere. I've been M.I.A. for about a million minutes. Did you even notice?


TRAINING 


Dec 25th may have been Christmas, but on a more serious (and terrifying) note, it marked 18 weeks until the OKC Memorial Marathon. Guess who paid for the full? Guess. Yes, the winner of last year's marathon entered. Yes, the second place person probably did too. Ok, ok, guess which non-winner paid for this year? Right! ME!!! This curl is gonna run (read: bouncing ponytail) 26 point flippin' 2 miles.

I've committed to a 16 week program over 18 weeks to give myself some cushion. I know I can run 3-5 miles with effort, and could probably drag my rear for 6-8 if I was promised a hug at the end. Beyond that, it's a no. So, enter training! Oh, we know how much I love (riiiight....) training plans. I made it through 4 days of the last one; and that was my longest streak. I plan to use the extra 2 weeks somewhere in the middle for repeat weeks when my long runs get into the teens.

Accountability groups, a new Garmin ( #hewenttogarmin), lots of support, and really...not much else to do, means I have no good reason to not keep at it. I SHOULD be focusing on my yoga (more on that later) but this is a big deal for me, so I'm hoping to squeeze the effort out of this avocado pit of a person that I am.

BRRRRRRR  
 
It's officially winter. The weather here wouldn't alert you to that, but it is winter. Although we've been in the 60+ degrees for most of December, we have had a few bitter days. In the single digits, and one day in particular the windchill was in the negatives. That's cold of SEOK. With winter comes winter-time lady probs. The legs. Amiright? I can't get my legs smooth no matter how long I soak in the tub, in boiling water, with oils and magic beans and genies. My core temperature drops with the days of the calendar and my goosebumps take up residence like they have an extended stay option at Burning Man. My legs are not a free space for your BS, goosebumps! Argh. I've reached out to a few fellow runner-bloggers, to see if they have the same issue. Not that runner women have different skin than non-runner women, but if you run (especially in a climate that is humid, regardless of temperature) you tend to have to shower more. More showers mean more goosebumps. More goosebumps mean SAND.PAPER.LEGS.

Do any of my readers have this issue? Can you EVER get smooth legs, on the reg, during the winter, runner or not?

Share your secrets. Quit being better than me, and help out!!!


NOT THAT MANY THINGS 
 
So many things going on. Work, which no one wants to hear about, yoga, which I am embarrassed to talk about, and plans for spring.

I'm 3 months into my YTT, and have yet to feel like I'm grasping the concepts. I love what I'm learning, and I feel as though I understand it. Taking time to study on my own, practice on my own, and generally OWN it is eluding me. I'm so unfocused! I've spent more time re-watching the Friends
seasons, and the new Gilmore Girls episodes than anything. Stupid Netflix.


This was a surprise. I won all 3 at a work event. So many goodies to come.






HAVE YOU TRIED THIS???!!?!?!! IT'S AMAZING!!!!






 How was your Christmas? What was you FAVORITE gift? (mine was my Garmin from the dude)

Do you have any weird cold-weather issues?

What race, or other activity, is on your calendar?



Thursday, October 13, 2016

Khakis, YTT, Running.....HELLO!!!


RUNNING!

I'm admitting it: I can't run well on my own. There, I said it.

I am terrible at pushing myself on the pavement. I like my comfortable pace, and I proudly show it. I'm not comfortable with my time or my progress.

I've registered for my first full marathon. April 30th, 2017. I've paid for it, I've told people about it, I'm doing it.

I have realized that I can fake my way through 13.1 miles, but I cannot fake my way through 26.2 miles. I HAVE to train. For real. Fo' realzies.

How does one 'train' like an 'athlete'? Running coaches. Or, for poor people like me, free apps designed by running coaches. My issue with this has always been that I have to show up, on a regular basis, on a schedule set by someone other than myself, and do what someone else tells me to do. I'm not an entitled millennial, I'm just a stubborn, know-it-all, 30-ish woman from the South. Yeah, you get it.

Ugh, running. Double ugh, running on a schedule. Do you know how long it takes to cleanse/condition/dry my hair? If you've followed along for long enough, you know I HATE doing this regularly. If I have to run almost every day, this equals a lot of hair issues. #naturallycurly #naturallylazy


So, here we are, week 4 of a 14 week half marathon plan, to get me ready for an 18 week full marathon plan. I showed up for 2 days of the 6 scheduled days on each of the first 3 weeks. I have done ONE day of the 6 scheduled days for week 4. It's Thursday (happy Khaki Thursday, btw). I have 3 days left in the week (one of which I will be in YTT for 10 hours. Ooh, more updates on that in a minute), and 2 run days schedules, so I have tonight, and tomorrow night to show up. Ugh.......

I'm showing up for 33% of my current schedule, and we're on easy street still! This means I'll make it through 8.73 miles of my full marathon at my current training rate, AND, I'll run that extremely slow.

Running is hard, but training to run is harder. It really is 90% mental, 10% physical; but you have to be 100% insane to do this for 'fun'.


YTT

We're finally here! I'm doing it!

My stomach is in knots. My back is in knots. My brain is in knots. No, not binds, nervous knots.

I applied for 200 hour YTT back in February, and was accepted! I start my 9 month training class THIS SATURDAY!

With running, and work, and life (#adulting), my home practice has been collecting dust. Oh, I'm still flexible, I can still rock a quick flow when I want, I'm getting much better at headstands, no, I still can't do the splits. But my daily devotion to it has slacked. So much so that I find myself laying on my mat looking at yoga poses on Insta rather than actually doing it.

Devotion: not something I've been strong at lately. Friends. Home repair. Gardening (#Cogarden2016). Bible study (#SundayChristian, this is something I'm not proud of, but I believe admitting our lack of devotion will encourage us to be better...I hope) Oh, and blogging. You know how bad I've been at that.

Anyway, I'm headed to my first 20 hours of YTT Saturday. I'm spending my time in between now and then stretching, running, stretching, foam rolling, and laying on the floor. I'm really good at savasana.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Return of the Khaki Thursday

Hello Friends. It's been a while. I've had quite a life going on, and honestly, I have been selfishly enjoying it in privacy. It's not that I don't love you all, or that I don't want you to celebrate things with me. Sometimes it's simply good to focus on the real things around you, and step back from the digital journal world. We don't have to share everything. Heck, we don't have to share ANYTHING! ...but I like to.

You'll be pleased to know that I'm finally accomplishing some goals, I'm growing in both faith and self-worth, keeping active, and being a super person!

Maybe we can get reacquainted? Maybe I can crack that door open a little, and let you peek inside? Maybe we can share some triumphs, and some heartache, and a little advice, and a lot of love? I think so; how about you?

So take my hand, no, my other hand, there ya go. So, take my hand as we begin to walk through this life together again!






I'll brief you on some things today, so that you'll be familiar as we move forward.

I'm still employed, and as busy as ever. The Prell has come to visit a little while we split the command of one of the south offices.

I still live in my giant house, and it still needs a million dollar overhaul. I did 'finish' the downstairs bath though. By 'finish' I mean I don't want to do any more, everything functions, and there is a place to hang hand towels. Boom.

The dude and I are doing great! We're learning how to communicate, compromise, forgive, and let go. Divorce scars you more than you realize. When you have 2 divorced people, with very commanding personalities, it can easily become weapon for weapon when pride, emotion, and opinion get involved. God is leading us, because we are asking Him to lead us.

Co-garden 2016 is CRAY-ZAY. We have 18 watermelon babies on the vine. Pics to come.

Yoga: I start teacher training in October. I've been on my mat almost every day for quite some time. I'm working on splits, and arm balances. Forearm headstand is no longer elusive, it's part of my daily life. Progression is so satisfying.

You're probably wondering about running. Well, I'm getting back to it. I took a lot of time off. I was injured. I was lazy. I was not interested. It's 100+ outside everyday... Lots of reasons and some excuses. I'm not HRG, I'm not RER, but I'm still running around and doing all the things. 5k in Denver this September. Legs vs. Lungs. It will be a battle.

With that, I will leave you for today. I have many thoughts to organize. I am really excited to share again, but I don't think it will be daily as it used to be. We just have to be in our own world more than we are in the social world.

Peace and curls.

Monday, March 21, 2016

D-O for my B-O; back on the mat.

I'm on day 5 of trying Native natural deodorant.

Let's take a quick trip though my sweat.

I sweat. A lot. I sweat from my underarms, my back, my head, my forearms, my belly button, my tush, my kneecaps, the backs of my knees, my arches, and everywhere else that is covered in skin. I glisten, I glow, I gleam, I gush.

I've used Dove, Secret, Degree, Suave. Regular, sensitive, clinical, prescription.

Roll on, spray on, rub on.

Clear, solid, opaque, glittered, gel, liquid, and unicorn paste.

Nothing impedes it, it just keeps it from making people pass out when they get a whiff. "My, that river running down your spine sure smells fresh."

Over the last year my concern has shifted from slowing the flowing to focusing on what's getting absorbed, and the long term effects.


Recently I saw a study completed on natural antiperspirants and women. The top pick was Native. I've never heard of that and I live in Oklahoma. Everything is 'native' here. ...anyway.

Their website clearly states that they feel "your deodorant shouldn't be a chemistry experiment". I couldn't agree more. The link between aluminum and breast cancer is obvious to all of us except the deodorant companies. I'm no scientist, nor a doctor, but anything applied that close to a gland that seems to grow cancer easily...well, I've gotten a little worried. Thanks WebMD.

Native offers 3 scents: Unscented, Fresh and Clean, and Lavender and Rose. I chose the L/R because I use lavender in my hair gel. I like the scent and most other people do too.

What I've discovered so far about this antiperspirant:

1: It's tougher to put on than national brands. It has a tendancy to dislike moisture, so applying too soon after your shower won't work.
2: It can roll up easily, but you can rub it in easily too.
3:It has caused some redness. Either I'm allergic to it, or it's sensitivity because the product doesn't create a rub barrier as well as Dove. I predict the latter, as it doesn't itch.
4: I smell like a hippie. I had my hands under my arms (ala Mary Katherine Gallagher) at church yesterday because I was freezing. I noticed they smelled a bit like garlic, but hadn't cooked with garlic in days. It was my pits. My sweat mixed with the herbal DO made for a very 'free-spirit' scent. ...I may try the Fresh and Clean.

At this point, I'm not ready to give up on natural, but I know why so many people don't want to try it. I'm not willing to increase my chances of cancer just to smell nice, or have smooth underarms, but I'm going to have to do some more testing. I don't want to live for another 60 years smelling like a root veggie.


_____________________________________________________________________
 Back on the mat

Oh this yoga journey. So inspired. So excited. So lazy.

I have not been practicing like I should be. You already knew that. If I'm not blogging, it's because I have nothing to share. No running, no stretching, no cooking. Boo.

For the past week though, I have been on the mat. Not a lot, but a little each day. I'm finding that morning yoga, although it feels best, is my least likely time to practice. I just don't want to get out of bed these days!

I don't know that I'll be able to get into YTT in October, but I darn well better be practiced enough.

Do yoga because you love your body, and for no other reason.
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 Foods

I'm making soup. Lots of soup. I need new ideas for soups. Crock-pot soups, pressure cooker soups, summer soups, veggie soups, soup bowl soups.

Lay it on me! What is your favorite kind to eat and make?
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Have you tried natural deodorant? What is your favorite brand?

Are you working out? What has your inspiration been lately?

 


Thursday, February 04, 2016

Life lately, on the mat, stuff and things

Ugh......... how many days are there in a work week?

Between setting fires with my mind at work, and my inability to sleep again, the past few weeks have worn on me.

God help me, because I can't seem to help myself.
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Mat Rat

I've been back on my mat this year. I'm hoping to attend YTT in October so I'm focusing on my practice.

Yoga is weird. I want to do it all day while I'm at the office, but early in the morning, and late in the evening I struggle to find the drive to get down and get yogi.

I'm currently working on toe taps thanks to my Ab'Asanas e-book from Morgan over at the_southern_yogi (check her out on insta!) I'm also working on crow pose. I am dying to get deep into inversions but I need to learn good balance first. Check out my video clip on Instagram here where I didn't do so well a few nights ago. Meh, you gotta laugh at yourself.
 
Did I ever show you my new mat? Here it is! eKO lite by Manduka. Hands down (pun intended) best yoga mats on the market. I do slide a little, but unless my hands are super glued to the floor, I probably always will. 
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Jesus take the lesson plan

In other news, I'm starting a new Sunday School class this Sunday. Let me rephrase that, I'm going to teach a new Sunday School class this Sunday. Let me rephrase THAT, I'm going to attempt to lead a new Sunday School class this Sunday. ...whew. The Lord will need to be in full-on 'go' mode in order to get this wild child through it. Prayers are appreciated, mandatory, and required from all of you. Thank you!
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Essential life

Here is a photo dump of just a snippet of my life over the past few months since I've been breaking from blogging. I've been focusing on the fact that I don't focus on things well. So I've taken time to be in my life a little more, and out here on the line a little less. Suck it up readers, you've survived.

This girl was my other half from 2nd grade until the last quarter of our senior year. She disappeared one day (not literally, there was no man hunt) and I haven't seen her in 14 years and 9 months. She walked through the front door of my brothers house last weekend and my heart exploded. Thank you God for keeping her safe and returning her to her owner. #friendsday



A nice afternoon making new friends, learning new things, and loving life.

How is it possible that even my shadow has the thickest legs of the bunch? Geez.

In case you can't tell, you have a cellphone camera and a 9mm pointed at you.

I ran 7.31 miles 2 weeks ago at the inaugural Trooper Dees Memorial Run. My time was dismal, my feet were heavy, my lungs were burning, but my effort was maxed, and I'm amazing.















There has been a little food here and there. The dude and I are a bit hipster sometimes, ...or maybe more scavenger/lazy....





  Who else can say they have an XYZ post and mean it?




Xena: Warrior Princess is on Netflix...gah!





My mom got 3 Yeti tumblers for Christmas and gave me one. I'm not complaining.








I love zuppa toscana from Olive Garden so I made my own. Sister o'dude inspired me to get after it...I ate too much, and I will do it again.

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 Do you use the Beauty Mode filter on your phone camera? I've used it A LOT, but didn't notice until now what it's really doing to my pictures. I knew it was smoothing skin and edges, but it's erasing all of my freckles! Those are BEAUTIFUL! I don't want those washed away. If only it would do what I want and smooth out my overbite... stupid technology.

I'm pretty like a bird, just the way I am.





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STUFFS!!!!!!!!!!








I don't believe that tacos are a gateway food. It's just not true. I can stop any time I want.









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How are you lately?
Did you make resolutions? How many have you already given up on?

Monday, January 18, 2016

The need to feel valuable

Inequity. The dictionary defines inequity as a lack of fairness, or to be unequal. While most people find fault in themselves based on a standard set by others, I find my 'faults' to be more of inequities; measured against my own standards that likely cannot be achieved.

For years you've read about my goals, my failures, and my stick-to-it-iveness. Under it all, I am 100% failure, and 100% lack of assurance.

This isn't an attempt to get your positive comments, or your support, or your 'you're beautiful, you're smart, you're "insert compliment here"'. No. This is a public expression of my realization that I place too much of my personal value in what I think others think of me. Not what they think of me, but what 'I THINK' they think of me. Have you ever seen the depiction of the man brain vs. the woman brain where ours looks like a bowl of spaghetti? Yeah, that's pretty accurate.

Many of my 'inequities' are shallow. Hair, body image, style, wit, and the like. Things I'm sure someone in my life envies, whether I know it or not. You and I both know that even when that someone tells you how much they wish they had your this, or your that, it doesn't make you appreciate that YOU have it.

Those aside, I do have real self-esteem issues that are deeper, and more important. Intelligence, creativeness, love, and devotion (to anything).

Where do we get the idea that who we are, and what we accomplish, isn't enough? It isn't enough for whom? God says we ARE enough. You want to talk about a standard we can't reach, let's look at Jesus. He died for everyone, forever, ever in the history of ever, before you and I were even here. I can't even remember most people's birthdays, and I have Facebook to remind me. There is no way I could die for the entire population of always-til-the-end-of-time, and do it with grace.

My hair embarrasses me.  My thighs are jiggly. My calves are too big for most boots. My bank account balance is so far from impressive. (If it impresses you, it's only because it's impressive how I can float by on pennies so consistently). My IQ isn't getting me into Yale. My house isn't getting me on HGTV unless it's one of those rescue shows. I'm not a Boston qualifier. My blog has ONE follower (of whom I am extremely thankful for) in the 11 years I've been writing.

I am not impressive.

I am something. I don't know what it is, but I am something. Oh sure, I could list a bunch of things I'm good at, or have done. This, however, is about a deeper desire to feel valuable. To feel necessary. To feel good. Actually, really, securely, wonderfully, totally good.

That can only come from God. Only He can show me how loved I am. My friends can tell me I'm a good friend. My parents can tell me how smart I am. I can be needed by someone, and share love and life with them. But to really fill that hole in me, I need God and His approval.

My primary love language is words of affirmation. Whether the world delivers that or not, I need it from God first and foremost. His Word of affirmation in my heart. In my soul.

By steadfast love and faithfulness, inequity is atoned for. Proverbs 116:6 ESV.

I read this and it opens another can of worms. '...atoned for'. I'm spending so much time worrying about my inequities and how they make me feel, I forget that I have to atone for the real inequities. ....and therein lies another inequity. I can't make up for my inequities on my own. Self-esteem crashes again.

Let's dedicate time this year to seeking deeper relations with our Lord. Let's shake off the worries of this life, and focus on the real goal.

Also, let's figure out how to make my hair look great without having that homemade hippie gel flake everywhere. It's really killing my confidence these days.