Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Does anyone know what dating is anymore?

Dating. Whoa! Stand back, keep your arms and legs inside at all times, don't hold your breath, and don't make eye contact!

This is the stuff science fiction movies are made of. Facebook, Tinder, Match, Zoosk, ...friends of friends. My head is spinning!

After my long, long separation, I decided to get back out and try to date. Here are my few, but eye opening experiences with dating.

Online dating: I have friends that did the online dating scene with some success, and much failure. I thought about it, but lying online about who you really are is just so easy. I need my sources! I need to know why you're single, from an outsiders perspective. I need to know how old that picture really is! I found that most (note this is not all-encompassing) men online were only interested in casual connections that don't require much clothing. No thanks.

Dating apps (Tinder): I had no interest in Tinder, that is too modern for me.

Fix-up: Friends of friends...oh, there's a good idea. The age-old attempt of 'fixing up' that ALWAYS fails. This one I tried. Why? I like feeling like a social outcast for having manners and standards. (insert blank stare here) Don't do this type of dating. You'll only get a big build up from the mutual friends, and then find out that person is completely different around their other friends. Ever wonder why you didn't meet this amazing person whilst hanging out with your mutual friends? Because they aren't that close of friends; and there is probably a good reason.

There are great matches to be made out there. You do have to put in effort though.  Be brave. Be confident. Be bold. Also, sharing quality friends with a quality guy can make a world of difference.  (I randomly PM'd a guy on facebook ok? His picture was really cute. This opportunity falls in to the 0.001% that he isn't a psycho or basement dweller. Results not typical)

I did spend a lot of time with God, talking about love, my future, my expectations, and His expectations. Guess what? His plan is way better than mine.  God sets limitations for us, for love and the falling in love experience, for good reason. He knows what He is doing. He created love. He IS love. I have my wishes, of course, and He listened. I'm not sure though if they were really my hearts desire, or the desires of my heart as set by Him. Either way, they're good, and they were met.

Take your time. Make sure you are happy with you, happy being on your own, and in a place where you don't feel you need someone. When you get there, wait some more. God has someone set aside for you, and He will deliver. While you get out there though, smile, laugh, meet new people, and have new adventures. Most importantly, stay true to you. Don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't worthy of pursuit. If they give up, they weren't worth it.

All that said, I'll end with this. Don't date just to date. Date with purpose. Love is amazing. Falling in love is truly a special adventure. Don't rush it. Enjoy each little step it takes to get from "Hello" to "I love you". If you fell in love before, and love failed, do not be bitter toward love. If you are getting a second chance at love, do not rush love. You can't make someone love you, and you can't make yourself love someone. Keep in mind that love is a choice, an action. You choose to love, and you show it in how you respect others and pay attention to their needs. Love is not kisses, and gifts, and facebook statuses. Love is a deep desire to see someone else's needs with greater importance than your own. You love them, because they are valuable.

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

1 comment: