That Curl can RUN!

Currently reading "Left Behind". Terrified that I am not up to par as a Christian, and will actually be left behind. Have had a few scares over the last few weeks, thinking that if my phone is not ringing or if I can't see my neighbors, the rapture may have actually happened! I refused to give the census worker my name. I don't see that it is necessary. I understand that they ask for it in order to ensure you aren't filling out more than one census. However, if I refused to fill it out not once, but twice, I assure you, I won't fill out anymore in the same name. So, when the volunteer worker came to my house, I made my husband speak to them. He made sure that they didn't get any more information than we felt was needed. I'm not unpatriotic, I'm not trying to short our community any money. I just wanted a straight forward answer:"what will happen to me if I don't give you my name?". They couldn't give me an answer. Ok, then too b...

Ma: Are you sure you should be driving since you've been drinking? Me: I just had one glass of wine ma! I'm fine. Ma: 64oz isn't hardly one glass. Me: I only had to pour once! Ma: Just because if all fits in a Big Gulp doesn't make it just one glass. ... :)

I've thought about alot of things lately. And haven't really had any breakthroughs. A few good ideas: 1. If you ever find youself with your hands tied and plastic bag over your head, just suck in and chew a hole through the plastic. Duh. 2. We really need to work on the problem with teens. It is so out of control these days. Children are taking the lives of others, as well as taking their own. I believe that punishments have go the way of the dinosaur, and this has left kids with too much freedom and the sense that they are mature. Children do not deserve respect from adults. We are their caretakes, role models and leaders. We should not ask them to do something, we should just tell them. The youth of today has no repect for adults, so why would they respect those their own age? Because we cannot spank, ground, deny, or otherwise punish bad behavior, we have lost the upper hand. Being a Christian I will of course push for Christ in the answer, but, I know that not everyone...

From Eddie Izzard: "You have the American dream! The American dream is to be born in the gutter and have nothing. Then to raise up and have all the money in the world, and stick it in your ears and go PLBTLBTLBLTLBTLBLT!! That's a pretty good dream. " I feel exactly this way about us. We really have no dream, other than to have more than the next person and not use it for any good. Just plug along until you get a break, then act as though you never were where you were to begin with. And then you die.

The walls can't contain me tonight. Sinking below the line of sight. Darkness blinds the shambles of the light. Fear resides in the day, if night could never end. How precious these few hours. Seeing life the way it was meant, before the dawn. If the sun gives life, it does strip it away. Clarity comes through a lack of vision, satisfied by no more than a view of truth. Close the eyes of life and find what is right.

I have had a thought, to invent a pillow with rubber strips on the bottom, so while traveling you can prop it against the window and it will stay put. Unlike those rebel pillows that go rouge as soon as you get comfortable. Damn hippy pillows. But don't think that any of you "entrepreneurs" out there are gonna get a jump on me with this idea. I've already blogged it and it has been timestamped! You will soon see Vince promoting it. And it will NOT be available in stores. Accept for Walgreens, in their "as seen on tv" aisle. What a crock huh?

I don't know about you, but I'm the friend that always drinks too much... Always fun on road trips. I'll get us there, but then....now what? What's scarier than getting back in the car 6 hrs from home and saying "ok, who's the least drunk? This happened to me recently. Two friends and I went fa fa away, drank the drinky poo, laughed and laughed (and fell in love with the object of our evening), then made our way to the automobile. ... ... ... tick tock tick tock How long can we sit in this car at the curb before we have to move to avoid suspicion? "So who's the least drunk?". Well.... We did make it home, by 7am. Did you know that -5 degree temps can really straighten out your cloudy head? Works. Try it. That was our trip to see the Izz. (moments of love and adoration edited out for your safety)

So I'm sunburned tonight. You may not be able to tell, because of all the make up they put on me. They have to use a lot because I'm a vampire. (I've been reading the twighlight saga too much and have come to the conclusion that because I'm pale, like rain, and have the desire to live forever, I obviously have a future meeting with a vampire studmuffin who is my soulmate that I am yet unaware of. But aware of.). But under the make up, just above that vampire thing, is a sunburn. I have a sunburn because it is January. I'm sure you all understand the connection with this. I usually tan once a week in late fall through early winter. But come January, its time to cook. I know that if I burn, it  shocks the skin into fight mode, and makes it want to be tan so it can protect itself. Because of how I treat my skin, I can only assume that I am, in fact, a dermatologist. Now, I dont have a fancy degree, or any credentials, but I'm surely right. Right? So there. The ...

On a recent trip through Missouri, I began to notice the broad variety of activities. Family destinations, vinyards.....and butt plugs. I have never seen so many off the wall sights to see, and so close to adult superstores. SUPERSTORES! The largest type of store, ever! Anywhere! I also counted a large number of the worlds largest fireworks stands, where they conveniently sell beer. That's handy, just one stop. Once, I saw a sign for the WORLDS LARGEST ROCKING CHAIR!: next right! But of course I didn't turn. However, a few miles down the way was a regular sized rocking chair bolted to a billboard. Now, at 75 mph I didn't catch what it was supposed to be advertisting. I just assumed that it was the actual largest rocking chair, and was terribly disappointed. A lot of people name their business after themselves. What do you do with Joe's Carpet when its time to turn the business over? Do you stay Joe's Carpet, or do you become Carpet store formerly known as Joe'...

There was a grocery store line, and 3 cashiers. 2 women, one man. Staggered. It was a special occassion, and some agreed to work for more money. But they had to scrub the store top to bottom. (I'm assuming I thought of this because in real life Taco Bueno had a sign up yesterday saying they were closing early, and I guessed it was for a health inspection cleanup.) I switched lines a few times, but never got any closer to leaving. One opened up finally, but the guy just stood staring at me, and wouldn't talk. I remember seeing one of the women scrubing the metal hand rails outside the automatic door. I was in a large common area, with a water fountain. Much like in New Moon. It was dusk outside. We had a school band/vocal group preparing to perform. It was at setup for a lesson in not spending money on things we don't need, and then not having money later when we need it most. They had all but one flute player join with the vocalists in singing the 12 days of Christmas. Wh...

Things my mind has been made up of recently, and a few that could make it on the "book name" list.... "Oh Crap! I didn't send the Jesus email!" "I was smelling you before, you smell like Myrna." "Shovel your cards" "It zocked me" "Water so clean, it's like fresh air from the cumulus clouds" "Eat your mothers funyons" "Aw, babyface" "We're just childs" "Anyone wanna go to scary store?" "I am a mind giant" "I am the sack master" "Back in my viking life..." "Where is my poonette?" "I need to put a chocolate post-it in my bathroom" "Didn't you ever just wanna be British?"

VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's... the list... Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (1991, #6 US) U2 - "One" (1991, #10 US) Backstreet Boys - "I Want It That Way" (1999, #6 US) Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You" (1992, #1 US) Madonna - "Vogue" (1990, #1 US) Sir Mix-A-Lot - "Baby Got Back" (1992, #1 US) Britney Spears - "...Baby One More Time" (1999, #1 US) TLC - "Waterfalls" (1994, #1 US) R.E.M. - "Losing My Religion" (1991, #4 US) Sinéad O'Connor - "Nothing Compares 2 U" (1990, #1 US) Pearl Jam - "Jeremy" (1991, #79 US) Alanis Morissette - "You Oughta Know" (1995) Dr. Dre (featuring Snoop Doggy Dogg) - "Nuthin' but a "G" Thang" (1992, #2 US) Mariah Carey - "Vision of Love" (1990, #1 US) Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Under the Bridge" (1991, #2 US) MC Hammer - "U Can't Touch This...

...of friendships, and scrabble, and drinking wine at night. Of water, and sunshine, and laying in the sand. Of phone calls, and emails, and forgetting to remember. Of hot dogs, and state capitals, and bandaids of all sizes. Things my mind is made up of.

We could all benefit from more police on the streets. All except the criminals that is. So, taking into consideration my lack of knowledge about city governments and major scale budgets, here is my proposal. All counties should have an imposed tax on all working adults that would go specifically to law enforcement wages and supplies. Take my city for instance. We have approx. 100,000 working people in the general city area. If all people paid an imposed 25 cent tax per week to the city that would be $100,000 per month. Wouldn't that be enough to supply the city with many more patrols? I know, I know, the money would be taxed and dispersed and levied and blah blah blah. But in the simplest form, it would work. I'll pay a quarter a week for more safety. Wouldn't you?

I've had it. It is terrible! So bad that I have renamed the 24 hr flu: THE VOODOO FLU!

Do you know what I don't know anything about? The people who lead my city, state, and country. I have never been required to have knowledge of anyone in charge politically. I did attend school, and college classes in the department of government. But I don't remember anyone, or anything. And I'm not required to know it to be a citizen. What will I do to learn this...

I recently received an email about love and good deeds. Mother Teresa, know as the Saint of the Little Things, is most recognized for extending a helping hand and a big heart to everyone. She believed that by making small gestures of kindness to everyone we encounter, we can change the world. I believe that when we read good news, we act better. We want to be part of the love and joy of life, so we help out, smile, say excuse me, etc... Our news, radio, and print is full of the negativity in society everyday. I myself have felt the loss of hope when surrounded by bad news. But, when I read a heartwarming account of friendship, love, and selflessness, I notice that I pay it forward more. So, with that, I have decided to start my own "blog-um" about the good things others have done for me. I will not be writing about what I do for others, because a thankless good deed is void, in a sense, if you tell someone. But, I may change my mind about that later; I have a hunch that...

Driving across town the other day, making out blue sky through thick clouds, I began thinking about my financial situation. And yes, I realize that staring out my sunroof while operating a vehicle IS the safest way to drive. The fact is, I don't live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to 4 days till the next paycheck. I always pull out my pocket calendar, and this is the conversation I have with myself: "Ok, I get paid on tuesday, and the electric, gas, and phone are due. If i put half my check in the joint account to cover the bills, then put the other half in our other account, we'll have money for gas after the joint account overdraws. Then, next week, I'll get paid again and my husband will get paid and we can pay rent and the water bill, and cover the overdraft fees (there should only be 3 or 4). Then take half of whats left to put towards my tuition and the car insurance. So, we should have about $40 left after all that to buy gas for his car, and maybe ...

I'm going to share with you my vast knowledge of building, zoning laws, and ideas to help the environment, because as you remember, I'm a genius. What the heck is the point of the over sized subdivisions going up everywhere? People want to live outside the city, so a builder destroys countless acres to build huge homes on small lots too close together. Then strip malls come into the neighborhood offering every convenience: nail salon, check cashing, bank, liquor store, and of course... Walmart . Now people don't have to go to the "city" to get what they need, they now live in the city, again. If you are willing to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a home, and a half acre of grass to be in the "country", wouldn't you be willing to pay the same for a home, a few acres of land, and actually be in a country setting? I suggest that the city governments put more pressure on builders to acquire land in neighborhoods that are mostly condemned, bu...

Are you familiar with Oklahoma Access a.k.a Snap a.k.a food stamps ? It's a nice little credit card issued by the state with a pre -determined amount of money each month to be used for buying groceries. Sounds good. When I was very young, my parents were on food stamps for a very short time after my dad broke both arms in a construction accident. We had a booklet with colored monopoly-like tickets in it, and used them to purchase food. It was good while we had it. It served its purpose. We always had milk, corn flakes, butter, cheese and some fruit. Basically like getting government commodities . My mom continued to work, and my dad returned to work asap. That's when they took away our food stamps . Now, the card is a much better way to use food stamps . It can be less embarrassing and easier to keep track of. However, what isn't better is the type of food that can be purchased with it. You can buy anything but food off the hot bar, alcohol, and cigs . If the state is ...